Nov 29, 2010
MISS ME???
Sep 22, 2010
A Whole New World
Breaking Boundaries
The numbers on the scale have bounced back and forth over a couple of pounds, but my body is ever changing. I have continued to have some pretty exciting breakthroughs! A few weeks ago I was able to fit into a size 6 jeans. I can't even explain to you how weird that is to even type that. It is an unbelievable feeling. Coming from the size 24 jeans that I started in.. just makes it unimaginable. Just this past week by a total accident I discovered that I fit into a SMALL t-shirt! I have such mixed emotions! Every time I step on that scale I am so frustrated that it just hoovers over the same mark week after week after week. But then great things are happening and progress is still being made.. just in a different way. How can I argue with that? Don't answer that.. I'm sure I'll find a way. I will continue to keep pushing forward in my everlasting marathon. Just because I reach my goal doesn't mean I've crossed the finish line. ;)
A Bright New Tomorrow
A couple of months ago, I was approached with an opportunity to teach a dance class. For those of you who don't know me.. I have always loved dance. It's my thing! I've danced since I was a young girl all the way up through high school. I had looked into being on the Lamar University dance team after I graduated, but unfortunately I didn't meet the requirements.. meaning I was too fat. At that point I gave up pursuing anything that had to do with dance. I was too fat and didn't want to hear anymore rejection so I just stopped. I didn't try to lose weight. I just went on with life. Well here I am 15 years later and a few pounds lighter teaching 6 dance classes a week and looking to teach more! But I'm not stopping there! This has opened up something inside of me that I've had buried for a while. I was too scared of rejection to go for it before, but now I am working toward getting a few fitness certifications and a personal trainer certification so that I can do what I love doing. I still want to go back to school, but baby steps.. baby steps. I believe there is a great opportunity for me out there, not only to support my family, but to have a gratifying life! I am very VERY excited about what my future holds. I'm looking forward to what lies ahead for me!
Wish me luck on my marathon! Are you sprinting? Or are you taking it nice and slow? ;)
Aug 3, 2010
F-I-R-E UP! That's the Way We Spell FIRE UP!
The Only Way to Not Go Back is to NOT GO BACK!
These are my mother's wise words. I don't ever intend on going back to the way I was before.. overweight, miserable, and unhappy. I have worked very hard and continue to work even harder. Maybe I'm too tough on myself, but I'm afraid to let up. It's not easy mentally or physically and I'm terrified to let it all go to waste. If i have a lax attitude, it'll be too easy get back into old habits. I'm not perfect and I will cheat, have emotional moments, have 'what the hell' moments, etc.. so by setting my expectations so high it gives me a little cushion before I get out of hand. So yeah.. I have my moments of letting loose and splurging (or over splurging in some cases) but I reign it in by being hard on me. Is this making ANY sense? Because it all does in my head. LOL! :D
The Devil Made Me Do It
Along with less hectic schedules and laid back meal plans, summer time brings back yard bbq's, gatherings, parties, and drinks on the patio. In the beginning, I had realized how many empty calories alcohol had and that I was really wasting my "Points" on such crap. I could handle a drink every now and then, but when I would go out and really party it up.. not only was I dealing with the empty calories and tons of sugar in the drinks, but I was also having to deal with the late night drive thru and let's not forget the day after. Who doesn't eat crap when you have a hangover. Jack in the Box has never tasted so good! I was so focused on the effects of one night of drinking that I had quit drinking so much so often (and no.. I don't have a drinking problem). Well.. since my favorite season has rolled back around and I'm gracing my presence at all these different social gatherings, I've let myself slip back into the drinking habit. It doesn't have to be every weekend, but just a night/weekend here, there, and everywhere really starts to add up. Over this past weekend there were two nights where I drank more than I should have and dealt with the day after effects. No fun I tell you. It effects my eating and my workouts. I am sabotaging myself. I'm fooling myself into thinking that just a "night out" won't hurt me. In reality, a night out won't hurt you.. it's the repeated nights out. That continuous accountability that I've talked about before really helps. I may be trying to fool myself.. but once you step on the scale there is no more fooling. Do you really know how fast junk and alcohol for a weekend can pack on the pounds? LOL! I mean.. really .. it's SICKENING! So who was I really fooling? LOL! NO ONE! I am ashamed to report that I packed on about 6 pounds over the weekend. I don't enjoy sharing that information, but it is what it is and I've always said that I would be accountable for my actions. Was this a vacation weekend? No. Was this a super exciting weekend that I'll never forget or regret? Umm.. newp. It was just another weekend with another gathering with some really great people. Was it worth the added weight and added work I'll have to do? Hell to tha NO! Damn you SATAN for putting that alcohol and hot links to my lips! BAH!
I have stepped back, looked at myself, analyzed, re-analysed.. and now I'm just going to humble myself, keep my head down and work hard. It is so hard to keep focus when life gets in the way.. but that's just another excuse.. and I'm FRESH OUT of excuses. I'm still not giving up on my goals. It may not happen in the time frame I've set for myself, but the point is to TRY and get there. So here I go.. one step at a time! ;)
P.S.
This blog and weight loss journey is brought to you by the Good Lord himself, because without Him there would be no weight loss journey. :)
Jul 12, 2010
Lighting a Fire
Complacency is a BEAST!
A few short weeks ago, I had finally broken my plateau. I had a consistent loss for a few weeks in a row. But I see myself becoming complacent again. I know that I'm not yet where I want to be, but the thoughts of "you've come along way" or "you don't need to work SO hard" start to creep in. That is one of the scariest things YET! It's time to shake off those "you deserve a break" thoughts and get to work! I set a goal a looooong time ago to lose 100 pounds.. and even though I'm not there yet, I'm ready to set a new goal. I feel like a new person and should re-evaluate where I am and move forward. No more looking back! I'm gonna drive this baby home! This week I've started a new 'diet' (gawd I despise that word) plan. As I've said before, I thirst for knowledge. To be successful, you have to accept change. What worked for me 9 months ago doesn't work for me now in both my 'diet' and my workouts. If I don't grow how will I ever reach my goal? In this 'diet' I'm learning, not necessarily to change what I'm eating, but more a change in how I eat it. It has a direct effect on the hormones in my body.. a hormone called leptin that sends signals to the brain that there is fat on the body. When your leptin levels are high then your body recognizes that there is fat, but when your leptin levels are low then your body tends to think that there isn't fat to be lost. Needless to say.. after my vacation, my leptin levels are through the ROOF! LOL! But that's okay.. it's all apart of my plan! ;)
Embracing Who I Am
It seems that the closer I get to my goal and the more knowledge I gain, more people have asked me for advice, tips, motivation, etc. While I am far from being an expert on any of this, I do know what's worked for me. I know my own body. I know what my weaknesses are. I know what my strengths are. I know how to motivate myself. I KNOW ME! By being confident in myself, I think it draws people to want that same confidence. Not necessarily to be me.. but they want to know what it takes to know themselves! I'm always ready to give people ideas about what works for me regarding workouts and meal ideas.. but I've honestly always felt silly about it. I felt like "who am I to give anyone advice"... well, I've finally come to accept and embrace who I am. I am a woman who has worked very hard for a long time and over came a huge obstacle that many people find frustrating. I am a woman who works for a living and raises two children who has stopped making excuses for myself. I am a woman who is proud of what's been accomplished and enjoys so much more in life. I am a woman with perseverance and determination to get to the next level. I will no longer be embarrassed about what I've learned along the way. THAT is who I am!
Setting a New Goal
As I've said earlier, it is time to re-evaluate myself and set new goals. This is kinda skeerin' me.. but I have to make it public. I have to be accountable. My new goal is to lose 25 pounds by October 15th. It is a realistic goal.. but rest assured that it will be no easy feat. It will take continued hard work and constant awareness of what I am putting into my body. This will bring me to a 117lb weight loss. That is seriously an entire healthy grown adult. I WILL reach my goal. Wish me luck.. I'm on the road home with a LOAD of knowledge!
Jun 29, 2010
If You Want a Revolution..
This Gatorade song has become my new theme song! I have evolved in so many ways. It's not just a change in the way I look and feel, it's a change in my thinking. A REAL CHANGE. There is only one thing that hasn't truly changed yet and that is the way that I view myself. I've said it before and here I am again saying that I know I don't look like the old me and I don't feel like the old me. I can see it when I look in the mirror, but it aaalmost doesn't feel like me. I know it's hard to understand and just as difficult to put into words. I put on these great new clothes that I'd only dreamed of fitting into and I still find things to criticize myself about. After you get to a certain point in gaining weight you try to not look in the mirror too long! I would make sure from the neck up I was "RED CARPET READY", but from the neck down was a different story! So one fine day years ago, I got rid of the full length mirror thinking that I'd get a new one. Since I wasn't too interested in seeing all of me, it wasn't such a priority. About a week ago, I bought the first full length mirror in 5 years. I know that I've glanced at myself in the mirror at the gym or in the department store, but again I was afraid to look for too long. I hung my mirror up and stepped back and looked at myself.. REALLY LOOKED AT MYSELF for the first time in years! I swear to you, I almost didn't recognize me! It is fun.. but it is very weird to see myself in a body that I've never seen before. I didn't looked like this when I was younger. Unfortunately, I am still a woman who has issues. I still see so much that needs work, but the bottom line is that I have to learn to be comfortable in my own skin. That is a new goal for me. To learn to not nit pick every single thing about me, grow to love the me I've become. It's not as easy as you might think. The harder I work, the more critical I am of myself. I am learning throughout my journey that there is an evolution all the way around.. Mind, Body and Soul.
The heart and soul of my adventure.. EXERCISE!!!!
My workouts keep me on my toes! I am currently alternating a workout laid out for me, tabata, and weight training with my trainer. I LOVE challenging myself.. finding my limits and pushing them just a little more. Last week I did a max out dead lift of 205lbs! My personal best! I'm pretty excited about it! I love strength training! Who knows.. in a different life maybe I would've tried to compete, but for now I just want to keep pushing my limits.. Compete against myself. It helps that I have a couple of cheerleaders to workout with, too! I find that alot of the time I don't give myself enough credit and often under estimating myself, but it's good to have a good support line to help motivate me to keep pushing on. Everyone needs that support! I look forward to every single workout to see what boundaries I can push!
It's just food, right?
Um.. except for chocolate. Chocolate is the devil. This is another huge area where I've evolved. I started out with baby steps. I would make my portion healthier rather than changing up the whole family's dinner. Once it became a habit to choose the healthier foods, I was ready to try new things! Here's the deal.. if you can strip away everything you think about food.. realize that food truly is fuel.. get back to basics.. then you can really start enjoying your food! Who knew?? Sort of like a food detox. you clean out your life.. you clean out your closet.. so get rid of all the trash and clean out your cabinets! Get back to the basics. Eat for a purpose.. not just for pleasure. Once you get there.. you really will find pleasure in the fuel! I feel like for the first time in my life I have a clean pallet! I am beginning to enjoy things more and more in their whole and natural state. Almonds without all of the salt.. veggies that are still a little crisp and not cooked down to mush. It wasn't this way in the beginning.. It took time to get here. So if you're not here yet.. don't get discouraged.. YOU CAN EVOLVE!
I learn new and exciting things every single day! I feel like this wonderful adventure is a road of constant exploration and discovery! Good luck on your exploration! Let me know what you find! 'K? ;)
Remember.. You can't lead by force. You lead by example.
Jun 15, 2010
It's Not Just a Journey, It's an ADVENTURE!!
The Fat Old Me is Gone FOREVAH!
This past weekend we bought a new dresser for our bedroom. I was so excited about it and immediately started going through our clothes and picking out what to trash and what to keep. I didn't realize how LIBERATING this would be! I pulled every single stitch of clothing I had out of tubs, drawers, and closets. I have culled my closet a couple of times since I've started my journey. When I'd get into a new size, I'd take the older clothes and set them aside only holding on to tshirts, undershirts, and just comfortable lounge clothes. After all was said and done I had given away 4 large garbage bags full of clothes and thrown away at least 2 bags worth of clothes! When I walked back into my closet, I had one single lonely shirt hanging in there. LOL! I had really cleaned out EVERYTHING this time! Not a shred of my "fat clothes" left! Now.. don't fret.. I'm not walking around nekkid. I did have my usual, but limited, wardrobe which couldn't fit into my closet for all the CRAP I had in there! While I was at this whole spring cleaning thing.. I was going through things that had to be put up into my memory boxes. I came across my engagement pictures from 2000. I once remember looking at those photos and wishing I could look like that again. The sad thing is.. I was still very heavy then, but before I'd started losing weight I had allowed myself to get so far gone that I wanted to look like a less fat version of myself! CRAZINESS I TELL YOU! I was showing my husband the pictures and was telling him how I couldn't BELIEVE that I had once longed to look like that again! I never really knew how heavy I was.. not even at my heaviest! I know NOW that I really wasn't as happy as I thought I was. I only thought that I felt great.. but that was a HUGE lie! I can't imagine spending a day in my old body ever ever ever again. I hadn't really planned on sharing before and after photos until I've reached my goal, but I just don't think you can appreciate my entire story until you see it with your own eyes. So.. I'm doing something I've never had the nerve to do before. TAKE A PICTURE! EEK! This is scary stuff! LOL!
Here are a couple of before pictures.. PROCEED WITH CAUTION!
This picture is Juuuuust before I began my crazy journey.

This picture is me in January 2009 and was down 15 pounds. I thought I was one hawt momma!

This is some of my most recent pictures. I may not be to my ideal weight or look like Twiggy.. but I have to admit that I'm pretty darn proud of me.. and THAT is what counts the MOSTEST!


Okay.. I'm not all that brave to post anymore. But you can see the difference. Right?
Knowledge isn't just power, it's EMPOWERING!
I have recently been finding myself researching foods and what makes my body tick. I mean.. you can't do brain surgery without first knowing how the brain works. RIGHT? I have reached this new level in my adventure! I thirst for more knowledge! It helps me understand why I feel the way I feel. I am really in touch and aware of myself. I understand how foods effect me.. and IT's AMAZING what you can find out! PLUS!!! I can plan meals better! I've read a book called "The Mediterranean Diet". Now WAIT! Before you shut me down.. I've never in my entire life read a "DIET" book before. In fact, I despise them. Atkins didn't do it for me.. the whole eating a t-bone steak and bacon for every meal sounded good for like a day. The same with other books, like 'The South Beach Diet' and any of those others that claim they will be the last diet book you will ever read. In fact, I was so un-interested in reading "The South Beach Diet" book that I bought the Cliff's notes and skipped to the recipes! Then I was so disappointed in the so called recipes because it wasn't something that I could work into my families lifestyle. I have three children.. er.. I mean two children and a husband.. and I am still the cook in the family. This is MY lifestyle change and although my goal is for my family to be healthy, I can't shove it down their throats. In my quest for knowledge, I realized that I need to EAT TO LIVE NOT LIVE TO EAT! All of this information has opened my eyes about how to become a healthier person and use foods to fight against the very things that are have plagued my family (cancer, heart disease, diabetes, high cholesterol, etc) for generations! You don't have to study like a college student on finals night, but just look up some information.. you'd be surprised at what you THINK you know. LOL!
I was so excited about sharing the knowledge that I had with others who wanted more information that I had began my facebook group. I was ready to spill it! I didn't realize that by doing so that I would get so much more information and motivation! I am very very excited about finding the new me! My new life looks pretty exciting and I don't wanna stop anytime soon! Feel free to join me in finding the new you! ;)
Jun 4, 2010
The Best Laid Plans..
Turning it Around
I will put on my game face. This isn't the vacation that I had hoped for, but I have to it for my own sanity! I will put my big girl panties on and deal with it. I will continue with the healthy meals and snacks I had planned. I will continue to be active by jumping on the elliptical in a bit.. also a GREAT stress reliever! ;) The rain should be cleared up by tomorrow, we are making plans to take the kids to the beach. I am going to try my very best to be flexible so that if things don't workout to my expectations then I can just roll with the punches. I AM going to make the best out of this! There is no sense in whining about it and hurting myself or sabotaging my diet.
Life's Not Always a Bowl of Beautiful Fresh Red Cherries
I could sit here and whine for the rest of the weekend about how things didn't go my way. I could quietly eat my junk while no one's looking and tell you all what an awesome job I did, but that would just be lying. Right? I can lie to you.. but I can't lie to myself. The truth is.. I'm sure I'm not the only one that goes through these struggles. And I may go through this type of thing for the rest of my life. What I have learned is that binging on junk food will not make my weekend ANY better.. not one single bit. I'll bet that it won't even taste as good as I think it will.. but I'd probably finish the bag of cookies or chips anyway. At the end of it all I will be upset with myself for losing control. I WILL win this war. This isn't just about losing 100+ pounds. This is about so much more! This is about being 100% healthy even when I don't want to. Sure.. we can all have our splurges on special days, but why "splurge" on the crappy one's too? This is the new me and I will overcome it and not give into my temptations!
Writing this blog at this very moment has helped me tremendously. It has put my focus back where it needs to be. I know that I have to be accountable for my actions. Those of you who read my blogs and ask for information or just how I am doing is what drives me! Thanks for 'listening' to me spill my guts. It helps more than you could imagine! Soooo.. here's to a great weekend! Good luck to you all this weekend with your own battles!