If You Want a Revolution..

This Gatorade song has become my new theme song! I have evolved in so many ways. It's not just a change in the way I look and feel, it's a change in my thinking. A REAL CHANGE. There is only one thing that hasn't truly changed yet and that is the way that I view myself. I've said it before and here I am again saying that I know I don't look like the old me and I don't feel like the old me. I can see it when I look in the mirror, but it aaalmost doesn't feel like me. I know it's hard to understand and just as difficult to put into words. I put on these great new clothes that I'd only dreamed of fitting into and I still find things to criticize myself about. After you get to a certain point in gaining weight you try to not look in the mirror too long! I would make sure from the neck up I was "RED CARPET READY", but from the neck down was a different story! So one fine day years ago, I got rid of the full length mirror thinking that I'd get a new one. Since I wasn't too interested in seeing all of me, it wasn't such a priority. About a week ago, I bought the first full length mirror in 5 years. I know that I've glanced at myself in the mirror at the gym or in the department store, but again I was afraid to look for too long. I hung my mirror up and stepped back and looked at myself.. REALLY LOOKED AT MYSELF for the first time in years! I swear to you, I almost didn't recognize me! It is fun.. but it is very weird to see myself in a body that I've never seen before. I didn't looked like this when I was younger. Unfortunately, I am still a woman who has issues. I still see so much that needs work, but the bottom line is that I have to learn to be comfortable in my own skin. That is a new goal for me. To learn to not nit pick every single thing about me, grow to love the me I've become. It's not as easy as you might think. The harder I work, the more critical I am of myself. I am learning throughout my journey that there is an evolution all the way around.. Mind, Body and Soul.

The heart and soul of my adventure.. EXERCISE!!!!

My workouts keep me on my toes! I am currently alternating a workout laid out for me, tabata, and weight training with my trainer. I LOVE challenging myself.. finding my limits and pushing them just a little more. Last week I did a max out dead lift of 205lbs! My personal best! I'm pretty excited about it! I love strength training! Who knows.. in a different life maybe I would've tried to compete, but for now I just want to keep pushing my limits.. Compete against myself. It helps that I have a couple of cheerleaders to workout with, too! I find that alot of the time I don't give myself enough credit and often under estimating myself, but it's good to have a good support line to help motivate me to keep pushing on. Everyone needs that support! I look forward to every single workout to see what boundaries I can push!

It's just food, right?

Um.. except for chocolate. Chocolate is the devil. This is another huge area where I've evolved. I started out with baby steps. I would make my portion healthier rather than changing up the whole family's dinner. Once it became a habit to choose the healthier foods, I was ready to try new things! Here's the deal.. if you can strip away everything you think about food.. realize that food truly is fuel.. get back to basics.. then you can really start enjoying your food! Who knew?? Sort of like a food detox. you clean out your life.. you clean out your closet.. so get rid of all the trash and clean out your cabinets! Get back to the basics. Eat for a purpose.. not just for pleasure. Once you get there.. you really will find pleasure in the fuel! I feel like for the first time in my life I have a clean pallet! I am beginning to enjoy things more and more in their whole and natural state. Almonds without all of the salt.. veggies that are still a little crisp and not cooked down to mush. It wasn't this way in the beginning.. It took time to get here. So if you're not here yet.. don't get discouraged.. YOU CAN EVOLVE!

I learn new and exciting things every single day! I feel like this wonderful adventure is a road of constant exploration and discovery! Good luck on your exploration! Let me know what you find! 'K? ;)

Remember.. You can't lead by force. You lead by example.

It's Not Just a Journey, It's an ADVENTURE!!

I suddenly feel like my life really began 18 months ago. I have had ups and down, losses and gains, plateaus and huge break throughs! But more importantly, I think I found my true self! I never imagined that by just changing this facet of my life, that it would allow me to have the confidence to open up more and realize what I want out of life. This has been more fun than stompin' baby chickens! I don't know where this road will end, but it has taken me through so much. I had a realization in the beginning that this wasn't a fad diet, nor was it a bid to get skinny by pulling my bun off of my cheeseburgers. This was something that was going to last. This adventure has allowed me to do things I'd forgotten I loved and things I didn't even KNOW I loved! This is too exciting to keep to myself and I love sharing what I've been through with anyone who will listen! Every now and then I get someone to change their way of thinking about exercise and food and that is the most AWESOME feeling! I truly believe that more and more people really want to be healthy! A junkie doesn't really wanna be a junkie and the same applies here!


The Fat Old Me is Gone FOREVAH!
This past weekend we bought a new dresser for our bedroom. I was so excited about it and immediately started going through our clothes and picking out what to trash and what to keep. I didn't realize how LIBERATING this would be! I pulled every single stitch of clothing I had out of tubs, drawers, and closets. I have culled my closet a couple of times since I've started my journey. When I'd get into a new size, I'd take the older clothes and set them aside only holding on to tshirts, undershirts, and just comfortable lounge clothes. After all was said and done I had given away 4 large garbage bags full of clothes and thrown away at least 2 bags worth of clothes! When I walked back into my closet, I had one single lonely shirt hanging in there. LOL! I had really cleaned out EVERYTHING this time! Not a shred of my "fat clothes" left! Now.. don't fret.. I'm not walking around nekkid. I did have my usual, but limited, wardrobe which couldn't fit into my closet for all the CRAP I had in there! While I was at this whole spring cleaning thing.. I was going through things that had to be put up into my memory boxes. I came across my engagement pictures from 2000. I once remember looking at those photos and wishing I could look like that again. The sad thing is.. I was still very heavy then, but before I'd started losing weight I had allowed myself to get so far gone that I wanted to look like a less fat version of myself! CRAZINESS I TELL YOU! I was showing my husband the pictures and was telling him how I couldn't BELIEVE that I had once longed to look like that again! I never really knew how heavy I was.. not even at my heaviest! I know NOW that I really wasn't as happy as I thought I was. I only thought that I felt great.. but that was a HUGE lie! I can't imagine spending a day in my old body ever ever ever again. I hadn't really planned on sharing before and after photos until I've reached my goal, but I just don't think you can appreciate my entire story until you see it with your own eyes. So.. I'm doing something I've never had the nerve to do before. TAKE A PICTURE! EEK! This is scary stuff! LOL!

Here are a couple of before pictures.. PROCEED WITH CAUTION!


This picture is Juuuuust before I began my crazy journey.
















This picture is me in January 2009 and was down 15 pounds. I thought I was one hawt momma!






















This is some of my most recent pictures. I may not be to my ideal weight or look like Twiggy.. but I have to admit that I'm pretty darn proud of me.. and THAT is what counts the MOSTEST!
























Okay.. I'm not all that brave to post anymore. But you can see the difference. Right?



Knowledge isn't just power, it's EMPOWERING!
I have recently been finding myself researching foods and what makes my body tick. I mean.. you can't do brain surgery without first knowing how the brain works. RIGHT? I have reached this new level in my adventure! I thirst for more knowledge! It helps me understand why I feel the way I feel. I am really in touch and aware of myself. I understand how foods effect me.. and IT's AMAZING what you can find out! PLUS!!! I can plan meals better! I've read a book called "The Mediterranean Diet". Now WAIT! Before you shut me down.. I've never in my entire life read a "DIET" book before. In fact, I despise them. Atkins didn't do it for me.. the whole eating a t-bone steak and bacon for every meal sounded good for like a day. The same with other books, like 'The South Beach Diet' and any of those others that claim they will be the last diet book you will ever read. In fact, I was so un-interested in reading "The South Beach Diet" book that I bought the Cliff's notes and skipped to the recipes! Then I was so disappointed in the so called recipes because it wasn't something that I could work into my families lifestyle. I have three children.. er.. I mean two children and a husband.. and I am still the cook in the family. This is MY lifestyle change and although my goal is for my family to be healthy, I can't shove it down their throats. In my quest for knowledge, I realized that I need to EAT TO LIVE NOT LIVE TO EAT! All of this information has opened my eyes about how to become a healthier person and use foods to fight against the very things that are have plagued my family (cancer, heart disease, diabetes, high cholesterol, etc) for generations! You don't have to study like a college student on finals night, but just look up some information.. you'd be surprised at what you THINK you know. LOL!


I was so excited about sharing the knowledge that I had with others who wanted more information that I had began my facebook group. I was ready to spill it! I didn't realize that by doing so that I would get so much more information and motivation! I am very very excited about finding the new me! My new life looks pretty exciting and I don't wanna stop anytime soon! Feel free to join me in finding the new you! ;)

The Best Laid Plans..

Well.. let's see.. I planned our camping trip for 3 weeks. I made list upon list to make sure we didn't leave out ANYTHING! I made meal plans in advance so that I could stay on track. I packed bug spray, bathing suits, PERFECT meals, first aid kit, coffee pot, YOU NAME IT! I would've packed the damn kitchen sink if I could've fit ONE MORE THING in that truck! Unfortunately, our vacation was ruined by the rain.. we made it to the campgrounds in the pouring rain and decided to stay in a hotel instead. We woke up this morning hoping for better weather only to find out that the clouds were only circling over us and that it will rain all weekend. We loaded the truck back up and and headed home. I am down, depressed, aggravated, grumpy.. I was SO needing and looking forward to some time away and playing in the sunshine. We are here at home.. my junk food junkie is DYING to come out. This is another one of my weaknesses.. EMOTIONAL EATING. BLEH! I was so well prepared for the camp and had all my meals laid out. I was set up for total success, but things don't always turn out the way we plan, right? All I want to do (and frankly.. have been doing all morning) is sit here and whine. I have caught myself so many times going into the kitchen to find stuff to graze on. Luckily, I come to my senses and have stuck to fruit and almonds. But even then, I have to consciously walk away from it. My husband is on HIGH ALERT and knows that I'm wanting to feed off the trash. I told him to ask me where I was going every time I walked into the kitchen. It's a thing we do! ATTENTION: He does this out of TOTAL support. He knows how hard I've worked and knows that if I were in my right mind I wouldn't want to throw it all away! LOL! While sitting at my computer cancelling the reservations for the remaining nights at the camp, it occurred to me that I should blog about it. I don't have any interest in eating healthy at this very moment.. in fact quite the opposite. Those Star Crunch and Dorito's are looking MIIIIIIGHTY appetizing right now. LOL! I know if I talk it out and tell myself that it WILL NOT make me feel better that I can regain my focus. TRYING. REALLY. HARD. :D Believe it or not.. I'm already feeling better! As I am typing this, my husband asks why I am blogging.. he doesn't understand this emotional eating. AZZ. My daughter overhears this conversation and she asked me about emotional eating. I told her that it was something that makes about as much sense as putting on mascara just because you're watching a baseball game. The two don't go hand in hand and make no sense at all. She gets it.. let's hope she's more like her daddy in that department!

Turning it Around
I will put on my game face. This isn't the vacation that I had hoped for, but I have to it for my own sanity! I will put my big girl panties on and deal with it. I will continue with the healthy meals and snacks I had planned. I will continue to be active by jumping on the elliptical in a bit.. also a GREAT stress reliever! ;) The rain should be cleared up by tomorrow, we are making plans to take the kids to the beach. I am going to try my very best to be flexible so that if things don't workout to my expectations then I can just roll with the punches. I AM going to make the best out of this! There is no sense in whining about it and hurting myself or sabotaging my diet.

Life's Not Always a Bowl of Beautiful Fresh Red Cherries
I could sit here and whine for the rest of the weekend about how things didn't go my way. I could quietly eat my junk while no one's looking and tell you all what an awesome job I did, but that would just be lying. Right? I can lie to you.. but I can't lie to myself. The truth is.. I'm sure I'm not the only one that goes through these struggles. And I may go through this type of thing for the rest of my life. What I have learned is that binging on junk food will not make my weekend ANY better.. not one single bit. I'll bet that it won't even taste as good as I think it will.. but I'd probably finish the bag of cookies or chips anyway. At the end of it all I will be upset with myself for losing control. I WILL win this war. This isn't just about losing 100+ pounds. This is about so much more! This is about being 100% healthy even when I don't want to. Sure.. we can all have our splurges on special days, but why "splurge" on the crappy one's too? This is the new me and I will overcome it and not give into my temptations!

Writing this blog at this very moment has helped me tremendously. It has put my focus back where it needs to be. I know that I have to be accountable for my actions. Those of you who read my blogs and ask for information or just how I am doing is what drives me! Thanks for 'listening' to me spill my guts. It helps more than you could imagine! Soooo.. here's to a great weekend! Good luck to you all this weekend with your own battles!

Let the Summer Games BEGIN!

Summer time is upon us, kids are out of school, and vacation plans are in the works! Our family takes mini vacations throughout the summer, so if I'm not careful this can be dangerous! The first of our mini vacations begins this weekend and not a moment too soon! We are leaving Thursday and taking the kids camping at the lake! If I stick to plan this can be a great success! I have made 565431651 lists to prepare myself. I've made a camp site list, a packing list, a grocery list, an activity list, and it should be no surprise.. a menu for the weekend. Since we're going to be one with nature an' stuff, this is the perfect time to be active. There is a 'hiking' trial (and I use that term loosely), swimming, and a road that circles through the park! I see some REAL opportunities to keep active! YAY! I am working on coming up with a few morning time activities that will help me burn some fat! Someone told me, "just remember you're on vacation, so just relax!". Well, to be totally honest, I find it very relaxing! A good early morning workout right on the lake sounds so refreshing to me, and I'll be back at the camp in time for breakfast and coffee, rip roaring ready to ROLL! We'll see how fabulous that sounds in 80 degree East Texas heat and humidity.. BUT I have to at least TRY, right?! LOL! If you don't hear from me by Wednesday of next week... SEND HALP!

I Scream, You Scream, We all scream for.. CHOCOLAAAAAATE!!!!!!
Okay.. so it doesn't rhyme.. in the gruffy words of my late Paw-paw LeBlanc.. "Big deal". If there's ever a time to splurge, it's on vacation. RIGHT?!?!? WRONG!!! I cannot take a 4 or 5 day vacation from eating right. REALITY CHECK.. I will not be putting tofu on the grill or putting bean sprouts on spinach leaves. I'm CAMPING for Christ's sake! LOL! I will tell you how excited I am about putting squash, asparagus and chicken on the grill; making cold avocado sandwiches; and eating fresh fruit right out of an ice cold cooler! What could sound more refreshing on a hot summer day? Besides, if I want to get in some morning exercises, Star Crunch and Dorito's just won't do. I am arming myself for battle! This is one of the toughest challenges faced when trying to change your lifestyle. There will be situations throughout my entire life where it is going to be a struggle with my will power. I've got to stay focused. I'm taking a vacation from work, stress, and chauffeuring children to dance recitals and baseball games.. NOT from my health! Fat does not take days off or cut you ANY slack. SWEET BABY JEEBUS JUST KEEP ME AWAY FROM THE SMORES!!! Lawd halp us all..

Confessions of a Recovering Overweight Drama Queen
This past weekend I celebrated my (8th Annual) 24th Birthday. :) My husband took me out for dinner and drinks. We split an order of some oh so delicious lamb chops and I had a side of grilled asparagus. It's a shame that the healthy food didn't cancel out the glass (or four) of wine that I had. :-/ BUT...... I DID make the waiter take back the chocolate cheesecake after I had two small bites! DID YOU HEAR THAT?????? Did you just HEAR what I SAID!? I GAVE BACK CHOCOLATE!! That's gotta count for SOMETHING, right?! :D /sigh.. Alas, sweets are still my down fall. This junk food junkie still exists somewhere inside of me. All I can do is smack her around every now and then and show her who's boss. Sometime that betch wins the battle, but I will win the WAR!


I am VERY EXCITED to report a 2 pound loss last week, bringing me to a total of 91 pounds gone! It is a struggle.. but I have to keep my mind right. Wish me luck on my vacation.. I will update you all next week on how well I stayed on target.. PRAY FOR ME!!! :D PLLLLEEEEEEEEZE! ..and good luck to you all in your weight loss journey this week.