KISS Me!

Ok.. not in that sense, but HEY.. whatever works!  Keep It Simple, Stupid.  That's the route I'm taking.  Back to the basics of food and fitness.  If there's one thing I've learned in my journey, it's that you never really fail unless you completely give up.  Sometimes it takes stepping back for a minute and putting things back in order, but that's not failing.  In fact some of the most successful people in the world have had to take a step back.. take a break.. re-evaluate.  This is a lifelong journey to become healthier and stay that way.  It won't ALWAYS be smooth sailing, because.. well.. that's life!  So, now that I've taken my step back and am back into full fledged 'Revolution' mode.. I've decided to try and not overthink things too much.  Keeping it simple.  I've said it before, but the very basics of food and workout were once laid out for me so plain and simple so that I could understand it, "Don't Eat $h!% and Move Your @$$"!  So I am!  And I'm LOVING it!  I've got about 5 weeks worth of REGULAR, CONSISTENT and good "FAT BURNING" workouts under my belt and two and a half weeks of a new "wheat free" eating style I'm trying.  Notice I say "eating style"?  Why?  Because I despise the word "DIET". BLEH!  Who wants to be on a diet for the rest of their cotton pickin life??

I'm Not As Good As I Once Was
If you've ever made it to the gym for any amount of time, slacked off for even a couple of weeks, then try to pick up where you left off; you'll be able to sympathize with me.  If you haven't gone to the gym ever and decided to do a workout class for the first time since you were in your teens.. you'll be able to sympathize with me. After I was able to get all of my ducks in a row, the first thing I did was call my trainer.  I was feeling so sluggish and gross. Nothing has been fitting right, I lacked the energy I once had, and most importantly.. I was uncomfortable in my own skin.  I was not feeling fantastic at all. So, I met with my trainer and guess what happened. I sucked eggs. Workouts that I had been used to doing were kicking my butt!  I know to get a good workout, I have to get to that stage where I am a little out of my comfort zone.. heavy breathing.. sweating.  Not exactly a great feeling from being able to do these workouts to sucking wind like I'm dying! It was very humbling.  No.. maybe humbling isn't the word.. more like EMBARASSING!  I asked my trainer several times.. "I'm sucking huh?"  He was nice enough to tell me that I was doing good.  I'm glad.. I need that positive reinforcement.  So after a couple of weeks of slugging through my workouts and still not feeling at the top of my game, I knew I still wasn't quite right.  I made a very important step in making my way back to the workout arena and that was to get my but in gear and make it a habit again of going to the gym, but I still had some 'tweeking' to do.

No Wheat?  NO WAY!
 It's no secret that I've never been a fan of fad diets.  There's that damn word again. :-/  I've heard all about the Atkin's Diet, South Beach Diet, Low Carb this, Cheat Day that, etc, etc, etc. I am a working mom with two young kids.  It really does not work for me to have these books that give me strict guidelines and planned meals that include ingredients like broccoli sprouts and kale.  (Funny thing is.. broccoli sprouts and kale are actually pretty delicious foods! LOL!)  Or recipes with 6984375984 different ingredients.  My kids and I are still (and may always be) trying to find our groove.  School has started full swing, in a few weeks I'm starting another Zumba camp; so I have to find things that work with our busy schedules. I am reading a book which talks about breaking away from processed foods and eating lean meats, fruits, and vegetables.  Now.. I understand that any ol' dummy can write a health book.. or write a blog.............. -__-    But I am very interested in what the book "Wheat Belly" has to say.  If you are interested in finding out all the ins and outs of the book please feel free to read it, but I'm going to stick to the basics here.  It all comes back to eliminating as many processed foods in your diet as possible.. and more to the point, completely.  It can be challenging, but I find that it's only challenging when I start to over think it.  My diet.. stupid word.. these days consists of eggs, fresh veggies (broccoli, bell pepper, cauliflower, carrots, celery), fruits, nuts, chicken, fish, and turkey.  Wow.. a new concept.. I know. o.O  But believe it or not.. after all that I've read, researched, learned, I FORGOT! GAH!  So.. here I am.. back to basics and using the KISS method! :)  Thursday will mark the third week that I have eliminated all processed foods from my diet and have eaten only fresh fruits, veggies, and lean meats.  I went through some changes, I may or may not have been a little grumpy in the first few days. :)  But in this third week especially, I find that I don't crave the junk like I used to.  When I was on "vacation", I constantly craved the crap!  The more crap I ate.. the more I HAD to have it! Like a DRUG! I understand there are people in the world who have no problem eating "Raw" diets or Vegan Diets or Paleo Diets.. I always felt that wasn't for me.  But here I am telling you that I am thoroughly enjoying my new eating style.  It's like finding myself again!  I have energy, I feel great, and I don't feel weighed down! I would recommend to anyone, even my own bestest good friend.. before you try a new "diet" I encourage you to read, read, read.  Don't dive into something without first knowing the consequences and if this will even be healthy for YOU.  Everyone is different.. your results will not be exactly the same as others.

I am so grateful for the encouragement from friends and family.. for those not ridiculing me for taking my vacation.  I am proud to announce that I am 9 pounds lighter than I was two and a half weeks ago!  I am back on board and I hope you are too!  Until next time! ;)

They Call Me the Comeback Kid

Whew!  It sure is dusty around here!  A few cobwebs in the corners.. hmm.. I guess that's what happens when you take a little break! ;)  This blog has always been about one thing.. weight loss and my journey to achieve my weight loss/healthy lifestyle goal.  But today, I have to step out of those lines just slightly so that you can understand.  Two years ago, everything changed in my life.  Wow.. where did the time go?  It's been a while.. so pardon me while I find my groove.  'K.. back on track.  Two years ago, everything in my life changed.. then changed again.. then changed AGAIN.  I chased my dream of becoming, not only self employed, but self employed by doing something I became so passionate about.  I left my great, full time job to become a full time Personal Trainer and Zumba Instructor Extraordinaire!!! ((**JAZZ HANDS** ))  It has been a roller coaster and I will try to give you the Cliff's notes version and not the Lifetime Movie. :)

NEVER LET 'EM SEE YOU CRY
I had that much faith in myself, in what I was about, and in God that I could do this and that with a little hard work and budgeting, I would be successful.   In my last entry early this year, I touched on going through a divorce and trying to make a go at this new career as a single mom and sole provider.  I was depressed.. no matter how much I tried to deny it.. it was there. I tried desperately to put on a happy face, put on my big girl panties and go forth "as if".. as if everything would come out ok.  I truly believe positivity plays a big part in where we end up in life.  I had to stay positive for my kids, my business, and well for my own sanity.  So, in this journey of building my career and I continued to workout at the gym, I taught as many Zumba classes as I could fit into one week's time, I trained my clients, I researched, marketed, worried, prayed, cried, and prayed some more.  I not only was over working my body, but my mind and my spirit as well.. mix that with not getting proper nutrition.  I felt horrible 90% of the time.  I tried to shake things off, but that usually ended up with me beating myself up BECAUSE I felt awful.  I had hit complete exhaustion.  Mind, Body, and Soul.  My body was rebelling against me.. My workouts weren't as fruitful.. which made me feel less than.. which led to more bashing of myself.  I gained weight.. more bashing.  I was embarrassed.  In my attempts to market my studio, I put an advertisement on my windshield.. I constantly marketed my Zumba.. I was always "on".  Who knows.. maybe no one gave a rat's "batooty" about me, but in my mind everyone was watching me fall apart and gain weight.

YOU CAN DO ANYTHING, BUT NOT EVERYTHING
A few months after my last blog entry, I had decided that I was going to give myself a break. That I wouldn't beat myself up if there was dust on my tennis shoes.  So what, if I didn't workout more than once that week because I was taking my kids on date night or karate or just needed a break from the hustle and bustle.  I had no interest in becoming obese and neglecting everything that I learned along the way.  I still worked out, just not quite as religiously.  I was still somewhat mindful of what I ate, but I didn't obsess over it.  I was on vacation.  I allowed myself some reprieve.  I didn't know when I was going to "come back from vacation".. but all I know is that I finally felt free.. it felt great to not beat myself up over every calorie that went into my mouth. Please understand though, I didn't feel as fantastic physically as I did when I ate well, but my spirit was free.  I had to do this for myself.  I had to stop beating myself up over everything in my life INCLUDING my eating habits and weight gain.  

MY SOUL HAS HEALED AND VACATION IS OVER
I have been blessed enough to go back to the job I left in the same exact capacity..  as if I never left.  Only I did.. and my soul was better for it.  I was back in a routine with schedules laid out for me daily. This is good for me.  A few weeks ago I called my trainer (and friend) that I had always had and helped me through more than even he is probably aware of.  I feel like a baby learning how to walk.  I did NOT gain all of my weight back (THANK GOD), but it was enough to make a difference.  I was on vacation.. frolicking and not beating myself up.. but there came a point where I wasn't comfortable in my own skin.  THAT was the turning point to "come home".   I started out by getting my workouts going.. then turned on what I know (and then some) about my nutrition.  I have been eating very well and I am already feeling so good.  It's like detoxing.. Just have to get past the threshold then my body won't crave the crap.  I'm finally REALLY excited to be back on this journey.  I still train, teach zumba, and work full time.  I still find time to be with my kids.  I don't over commit myself.  I want desperately to get my body where it was 2 years ago and then some, but I've tried to stop putting the pressure on myself (and it's still a struggle.. old habits die hard).  I have some really great friends, family, and clients who've become friends.   I've gone on long enough and I will update you next week on my journey of this new eating style I'm trying.  It's great for your body, but it can get challenging! I may have stumbled, but I have not fallen.. and THAT's why they call me the Comeback Kid! BOOYAH!!  ;)

The Low Down, Dirty Truth

Yep.  Time to get real.  I began this blog a few years ago to tell of the ups and downs of my journey.  I was steamrolling my way through it quite nicely, too; until about a year and a half ago, that is.  I'd post every now and then about trying to motivate myself and what I had been doing to stay motivated even if it were in just two week increments.  I've had so many people telling me for quite sometime how inspiring and motivating I am.  I try so hard to believe that, but it's intimidating! LoL!  I put myself out there for people to keep a critical eye on me.. but I did it ALL for accountability to myself.  Do you know how scary it is to be "on stage" all the time?? So.. instead of ruining something that kept people motivated and inspired, I would avoid posting blogs so much (and yes, probably a little bit of fear of being judged. Since I'm being honest here) .  The truth is that since late 2010 I've had a lot more downs than ups regarding my journey.  So by avoiding, I lost my accountability to myself.  I was enjoying my new lifestyle so well and felt SO passionately about it that in November 2010 I decided to quit my full time job and become a personal trainer.  A decision I do NOT regret and profession that I DEARLY love doing!  Just two short weeks later, I separated from my husband.  I will spare you details of my divorce and the struggles of being a single mom and trying to make a go of my new career.  That's not what this blog is about.. this blog is and always has been about my weight loss journey.  As you can imagine, there are many emotional ups and down of divorce alone.. add the pressure of being the sole provider for your family to that.. well.. you can see where I'm going here.  I admitted LONG ago that I'm an emotional eater.  These are all the perfect ingredients for weight gain and loss of motivation.

"When you feel like giving up, remember why you held on for so long in the first place."

Before you start having visions of me laying on the couch with a gallon of ice cream and an economy size bag of Doritos each night or running through fast food drive thru's every chance I got..  I AM proud to share with you that I did NOT give up on my fight.  I taught Zumba, on average, 3 times a week and worked out with my own trainer a couple times a week.  I would still start out every week with the INTENTIONS of making great choices each and every day, only to find myself giving in to temptations or cravings.. telling myself.. "just one last time of chocolate before I (fill in the blank)" or my all time favorite "I haven't had (fill in the blank) in SOOOO LONG!"  Well.. with all that working out you'd THINK I'd still lose or even maintain.  Think again.  It's a known fact that exercise is only 10% of fat loss.. that leaves the other 90% to nutrition.  Over the last 17ish months I have gone up 2 pant sizes.  There are two big things I want to point out here.  First..Vanity..   I am no longer happy in my own skin.  Although I'd never in my life wore a bikini nor felt the need to.. I was very happy where I was and felt comfortable putting on a swim suit without wearing a tent over it.  I felt great wearing shorts that weren't to my knees with tank tops.  While it's not the end of the world and I haven't gone back to where I began.. I am not comfortable with me.  THAT is what's important.  Not what magazines or society thinks I should be like.. but what I WANT for myself.   Second.. Health.. I do NOT feel as good as I did before. When I was eating good 95% of the time I felt GREAT!  I had energy.  I felt clean inside.  I thought clearly.  These days I feel dragged down, unmotivated, and lethargic.  I think Kate Moss once said "Nothing tastes as good as skinny feels".. well my friends.. that poor little toothpick has it all wrong.  Nothing tastes as good as being HEALTHY feels!

"When you get to the end of your rope, tie a knot and hang on"

So.. instead of making promises or trying to give tips to keep myself motivated, I'm just going to get real again.  We are coming up on Lent to which I have decided to give up alcohol.  I am a social drinker and I have been trying to socialize a lot lately. It just comes with the 'trying to find a life' territory, but it has, no doubt, contributed to my weight gain.  I am also giving up chocolate for Lenten.  I miiiight be a chocoholic. ;)  And yes.. I do love the taste of it, but it does give me a "feel good" feeling.. an indulgence that makes me feel like I'm giving myself a special savory treat.  I don't feel this way about lemon cake or sugar cookies.. just chocolate. LOL!  Sick!  I know!  This isn't really about giving it up for fat loss as much as giving up something that I've sort of leaned on for comfort with hopefully the benefits of fat loss and also gaining the spiritual and physical cleansing that I NEED!

Anyway.. it's back to baby steps!  I am so grateful to have had the last year or so to recover emotionally, but I feel as if I've revert back a year physically.  I'm not making promises I can't keep.. just starting over. Anyone who wants to join me.. PLEASE.. SAY SO! My first goal is to be accountable.  My goal is to blog every month as I did beginning.. and maybe MORE!! (But no promises on the "more" statement! lol!) Thank you ALL for the encouragement I've had since the beginning of my journey.  I hope to continue to inspire and motivate you all to not give up on your fight, no matter what little battles you might lose.