They Call Me the Comeback Kid

Whew!  It sure is dusty around here!  A few cobwebs in the corners.. hmm.. I guess that's what happens when you take a little break! ;)  This blog has always been about one thing.. weight loss and my journey to achieve my weight loss/healthy lifestyle goal.  But today, I have to step out of those lines just slightly so that you can understand.  Two years ago, everything changed in my life.  Wow.. where did the time go?  It's been a while.. so pardon me while I find my groove.  'K.. back on track.  Two years ago, everything in my life changed.. then changed again.. then changed AGAIN.  I chased my dream of becoming, not only self employed, but self employed by doing something I became so passionate about.  I left my great, full time job to become a full time Personal Trainer and Zumba Instructor Extraordinaire!!! ((**JAZZ HANDS** ))  It has been a roller coaster and I will try to give you the Cliff's notes version and not the Lifetime Movie. :)

NEVER LET 'EM SEE YOU CRY
I had that much faith in myself, in what I was about, and in God that I could do this and that with a little hard work and budgeting, I would be successful.   In my last entry early this year, I touched on going through a divorce and trying to make a go at this new career as a single mom and sole provider.  I was depressed.. no matter how much I tried to deny it.. it was there. I tried desperately to put on a happy face, put on my big girl panties and go forth "as if".. as if everything would come out ok.  I truly believe positivity plays a big part in where we end up in life.  I had to stay positive for my kids, my business, and well for my own sanity.  So, in this journey of building my career and I continued to workout at the gym, I taught as many Zumba classes as I could fit into one week's time, I trained my clients, I researched, marketed, worried, prayed, cried, and prayed some more.  I not only was over working my body, but my mind and my spirit as well.. mix that with not getting proper nutrition.  I felt horrible 90% of the time.  I tried to shake things off, but that usually ended up with me beating myself up BECAUSE I felt awful.  I had hit complete exhaustion.  Mind, Body, and Soul.  My body was rebelling against me.. My workouts weren't as fruitful.. which made me feel less than.. which led to more bashing of myself.  I gained weight.. more bashing.  I was embarrassed.  In my attempts to market my studio, I put an advertisement on my windshield.. I constantly marketed my Zumba.. I was always "on".  Who knows.. maybe no one gave a rat's "batooty" about me, but in my mind everyone was watching me fall apart and gain weight.

YOU CAN DO ANYTHING, BUT NOT EVERYTHING
A few months after my last blog entry, I had decided that I was going to give myself a break. That I wouldn't beat myself up if there was dust on my tennis shoes.  So what, if I didn't workout more than once that week because I was taking my kids on date night or karate or just needed a break from the hustle and bustle.  I had no interest in becoming obese and neglecting everything that I learned along the way.  I still worked out, just not quite as religiously.  I was still somewhat mindful of what I ate, but I didn't obsess over it.  I was on vacation.  I allowed myself some reprieve.  I didn't know when I was going to "come back from vacation".. but all I know is that I finally felt free.. it felt great to not beat myself up over every calorie that went into my mouth. Please understand though, I didn't feel as fantastic physically as I did when I ate well, but my spirit was free.  I had to do this for myself.  I had to stop beating myself up over everything in my life INCLUDING my eating habits and weight gain.  

MY SOUL HAS HEALED AND VACATION IS OVER
I have been blessed enough to go back to the job I left in the same exact capacity..  as if I never left.  Only I did.. and my soul was better for it.  I was back in a routine with schedules laid out for me daily. This is good for me.  A few weeks ago I called my trainer (and friend) that I had always had and helped me through more than even he is probably aware of.  I feel like a baby learning how to walk.  I did NOT gain all of my weight back (THANK GOD), but it was enough to make a difference.  I was on vacation.. frolicking and not beating myself up.. but there came a point where I wasn't comfortable in my own skin.  THAT was the turning point to "come home".   I started out by getting my workouts going.. then turned on what I know (and then some) about my nutrition.  I have been eating very well and I am already feeling so good.  It's like detoxing.. Just have to get past the threshold then my body won't crave the crap.  I'm finally REALLY excited to be back on this journey.  I still train, teach zumba, and work full time.  I still find time to be with my kids.  I don't over commit myself.  I want desperately to get my body where it was 2 years ago and then some, but I've tried to stop putting the pressure on myself (and it's still a struggle.. old habits die hard).  I have some really great friends, family, and clients who've become friends.   I've gone on long enough and I will update you next week on my journey of this new eating style I'm trying.  It's great for your body, but it can get challenging! I may have stumbled, but I have not fallen.. and THAT's why they call me the Comeback Kid! BOOYAH!!  ;)